this sh!t is hard

Grandma Jean (the amazing woman that watches little bug every day) called me this morning at 7a to tell me she was sick.

So that meant that (since daddy stayed home with little bug yesterday) mommy was on deck!

I am not going to lie - I love my job...I love going to work everyday and feeling like I am really good at what I do...especially because being a mom is one of those jobs that you really never ever feel like you are good at what you do...

But I was pretty excited to spend the day with my bug and the dogs...I figured we could play, watch sesame street, clean, run to the store, do laundry...I will stop there, I had a few more things on my list of things I wanted to accomplish today - but anyone who spends a day with their 17 month old knows that my early morning aspirations were totally unrealistic!

So here we are - it's 3:40 and bug went down for her nap about 20 minutes ago...and I am sitting here debating whether to use this time to take a shower or finish cleaning or fold laundry or lay down and call it a day...HOLY CRAP!

 I am about ready to skin my dogs, the house is a mess, i tossed dinner in the crock pot but who's to say i did that right, I am a freaking mess, I have food, dirt, dust, and weird stains on my clothes...the same ones that I had on when I woke up this morning...my hair is a disaster...I seriously look like a homeless person and all I can think about is who I can bribe (the hubs?) to pick up a bottle of wine for me so I don't have to leave the house to "relax"

I text two of my friends who are stay at home moms...I make it a point to tell them how much I respect what they do and how hard I know they work...but I really felt the need to share this with both of them once more.

my text went something like this...

"1) I have so much respect for you 2) I need a glass of wine 3) If I stayed home everyday I would find ways to justify cracking open a bottle of wine or beer right after the last sip of coffee in the morning" 

Oddly enough...I can manage a multi-million dollar ad budget, foster the relationship between my company and our agency, motivate and manage four employees and collaborate with a highly efficient, hard working, brilliant team of successful individuals...and not to pat myself on the back, but I am pretty darn good at all of that...

but for the record...this SH!T is HARD!!!!

CHEERS!

that moment...

You know that moment when you look at your baby...and realize they are no longer a...baby?

I was looking through pictures that my mother and sister in law took of little bug...and as I was scrolling through them, it hit me...like a freight train hitting a brick wall...she is not a baby any more. This little girl...with a personality, opinions, thoughts, ideas, imagination and love...where did she come from and when did this happen. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were bringing her home from the hospital in clothes that were way too big for her because she was four weeks early...or getting excited when she rolled over, sat up, or crawled...

Now I look at pictures, or watch her play, or listen to her as she explores her world...and I am blown away at how much she has grown!

I am sure that I am preaching to the choir...and that moms with daughters (and sons) much older than mine are asking themselves the same questions.

I took a friend's senior pictures a few weeks ago...and I could see it in his mother's eyes...she was asking herself these very same questions.

oh time...please slow down - if only for a moment so that I may catch my breath and not miss a second!





 What a difference a year makes...here is Lainey at 4 months old - this was taken around the end of October last year...





four months old



one year later...a little less baby...a lot more attitude! 



14 years...I mean...16 months old





16 months old



The Killion's Halloween

I have learned over the last 16 months (almost 17) that things are just a lot more work when you have a child...add a mother in law, a sister in law, two dogs (both dressed up) and your friends/neighbors who also happen to have two dogs and a five month old...and well - it becomes an experience!

For last night's festivities...we dressed up both dogs and Lainey. I wish I could say that we just strapped on their leashes, plopped Lainey in the wagon and headed out - which we did...after 25 minutes of getting ready to simply leave. However, after extensive preparation - we headed out to "take on the neighborhood" with Zoe (minus her hair & bows), Neighborhood Watch and iPudge.

It was a lot of fun...especially when we met up with our neighbors to walk around the neighborhood. All in all, there were six adults, four dogs, a toddler and a five month old...and the toddler was the only one that was actually trick or treating.

Lainey had so much fun, she was determined to walk (not ride in the wagon) to every house. She had no interest in walking on the sidewalk - but felt the extra leg workout was totally necessary as she hiked over the stones and rocks (remember it's New Mexico).

My favorite story from the night...

Mommy and Lainey walked up the driveway to a house at the end of the street. Lainey had a pretty full (for a toddler) treat bag, but was, in true Lainey fashion, determined to "do it herself" and carry her treat bag from house to house. When we got up to the door, Mommy rang the bell and a very nice older man brought a bowl of candy out. He picked a few things that he thought would be a good option for Lainey, and handed them over to her to put in her bag. She politely took them, smiled and dropped them in her bag. She then looked down and started to rummage through her goodies one by one until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a full size twix candy bar, looked at the nice man, and handed it up to him - as if to say - I picked this just for you because I thought it was perfect...and I want you to have it. He said thank you - but didn't want to take it from her. She proceeded to push it towards him with her typical Lainey assertiveness (wonder where she gets that from) and made a small noise as if to say...Take it! He finally took the Twix bar, pretended to put it in his pocket and then took it back out and handed it back to her. She smiled, took the candy bar and dropped it in her bag. She waived good bye, turned on her adorable little heel and started walking down the driveway.

This totally warmed my heart...that this amazing little girl is so kind and loving, she had been getting candy from nice people all night, and she was ready to give back. I might be looking too deeply into this - but my mission in life is to raise my children to be good people...for no other reason but that it is the right thing to do.

Thank you Lainey Bug for listening to Mommy when she says that you have to be kind and nice and caring and compassionate! In that small instance...you have melted my heart and made me so proud!

Here are some of the pictures (more to come) from last night's festivities...

so blessed!!!

Happy 1st of November

xoxo