a freight train

So it just sort of hit me...the way a wrecking ball just sort of hits the side of a building it is trying to destroy...that we are only nine weeks away (if Delainey Grace opts to stay safe and sound until the end) away from being parents.

trying to take a few deep breaths...can I do this...am I ready to be a mother?

First of all - where have the last 30ish weeks gone...30 doesn't sound like a lot of weeks...but when you break it out (four weeks per month) that is 7.5 months...Holy Cow - seven months...are you kidding me! I remember taking the pregnancy test (three times) and then telling mike that we were pregnant and then telling my best friends and then telling our parents and then telling work and then watching for a baby bump and then finding out that we were having a girl and then waiting for her to kick and now...as I sit here, thinking about how 7 and a half months have quite literally flown by, I am thinking to myself...now we are just waiting for her arrival.

I remember all of these things like they were yesterday, they feel like they were yesterday...time is moving so fast.

right now, this pregnancy feels like an impending freight train...the kind that you can't stop even if you wanted to - not that I want to...I am so excited to finally meet my...scratch that...our daughter. I can't wait to hold her, and smell her head and feel her skin next to mine. I think about the emotions that will flood inside and probably out when I see Mike hold his daughter for the first time...even now I am tearing up.

I think about how happy we will both be when Delainey meets her Grandma, and her Nina and Poppy and all the important people in her life.

I am both excited and slightly nervous for the time we bring her home from the hospital...and she gets to meet the rest of her family (Pudga and Lonard) for the first time...to see how they react and watch them fall in love with her.

But I am also scared to death...

I told Mike last night that I am pretty freaked out by the thought of labor and delivery. Obviously, there is not really anything that can prepare you for this experience...and the "unknown" is what I think I am struggling with. What will happen, how will it happen, what will it feel like, what if something goes wrong. My mind says...go with the flow...but that is so much easier said then done for someone with a planner personality.

And aside from the actual labor and deliver...we are having a child...a baby...a human that depends and relays totally and completely on us...talk about pressure!!!

9 weeks...maybe one more...maybe not so many.

65 days!

I emailed one of my best friends - who also happens to be pregnant - and said something to the effect of...it just sort of hit me that we only have nine weeks left...and I am freaking out.

Her response was both cute and reassuring...I am going to assume that I will need to print it out and look at it every time I start to feel the this way.

Thank God for good friends!